Yes Really!

Movies like Animal House with girls walking around in thongs feeling each other up don't really happen in real life. Or do they? Trouble and I decide to start to make a list of all our "yes, really!!" moments of 2011.....

World Series Game 3: Giants are in the Playoffs. Greedy Greedy has appointment to get Brazilian.

Yes, really: watching MLB.com live feed from iPhone while Julia my esthetician is up in my Britney. Giants win!

Trouble lifts weights topless in thong at home b/c its too hot to wear any clothes, obviously.

Trouble steals batteries from Tv remote for vibrator and forgets to replace them. Roommate is confused why tv remote stopped working.

Greedy knocks it out 5 times before big date. Is 20 min late for date.

Greedy Greedy is asked to determine which of her two girlfriends boobs are bigger. We decide that the distance between boob set a and b is larger thus giving the illusion that one set is larger than the other.

Greedy Greedy is shown girlfriends wax job and explains how her Britney is an outie not an innie.

Trouble reads Playboy while trying to pay attention on the phone with Meat.

Trouble comes home to find her issue of Playboy open on the kitchen counter. Blames Greedy Greedy for opening the package and realizes now that her roommates must think she's a nympho.

Greedy Greedy, SB, and Trouble in dressing room trying on lingerie. Victoria Secret Annual Sale! Why not!?

Greedy Greedy goes to KTV in Singapore aka Karaoke Bar and is served Cognac and water by madam. (Madam is really a Lady Boy). She brings in 10 girls into the room. Greedy Greedy choses 3.


Greedy Greedy Introduces Trouble to www.youporn.com. Trouble and Greedy Greedy drink wine on the roof and share their top www.youporn.com favorite links. Fan Favorite: ALEXIS TEXAS

1-0 and the ZIP CODE rating

Trouble and I have this good guy friend from High School who made it a point to rate girls every chance he got. 9-9-1 face, body, fuck yeah or 1-1-0 fuck no. He made it a point to teach us the inner workings of the male mind. Truth be told, there isn't much to it as we all know.

I'm at breakfast with Kev's childhood friend. I'm still hung over. I'm waiting for the bacon and coffee to kick in after another long night of drinking, having attended a wedding as the only repeat ONLY single girl. I'm third wheeling it with good college friend and her BF, pretending to not hate the frat boys who I can tell have made a bet on who will take me home and effe me tonight. It takes me 3 vodka shots when I return from the wedding to forget the stupidity that surrounds my suitors. At breakfast, I'm barely listening. Something about being knocked up with twins, beautiful people and most memorably "he didn't deserve my vagina". It gets me thinking. Who really does deserve my vagina other than me?

I'm walking across Vanness with Trouble later that day and we review our numbers and decide that they'd most likely be cut in half if we were to eliminate the people we were too grossed out to blow. We realize that this may make us prudes, but as Trouble points out, "babies are cuter than herpes".

We decide at this point to not take on any more suiters whose penis we wouldn't want anywhere near our faces. Truth is if you think it's gross, there's no future so in the end, a true waste of a number. We feel enlightened at this point and define our rating system.

We label our system the "zip code".

First number: Face

Second number: Body

Third number: To blow or not to blow. 1 yes, 0 no

Forth Number and Fifth Numbers: Completely irrelevant. We just now that every guys knows the 3 point rating system. This will only help make it more confusing when we zip code them mid conversation on our tripod dates. --UPDATE-- After GG pimps out Trouble and their friends for a dinner date with married guy and his colleges, GG and T decide the last two numbers are based on how much it you would have to pay us to sleep with them. 01=$1,000 and so on..... 99=$99,000 shit's expensive!