Don't Make it Weird

8:35am Friday Morning: Driving Across the Golden Gate Bridge with the top down in a black fully "upgraded" BMW Z3 that of course isn't mine with girlfriend SD. The wind is blowing through our already tangled hair and is a replacement for a hot shower this morning. We've slept a maximum of 3 and half hours and I can still smell the Don Julio. "Downshift to 4th I tell her, as she hold my steering wheel, drops into 4th as I pull my hair back. I'm not yet late for work, but I need an outfit change before I head into the office.

8:47am I drop SD off at my house and tell her to toss down the black BCBG knit dress sitting on my bed. She runs up as I double park outside my house and she tosses down the dress. I pull off my current top and expose my sports bra. I toss the knit dress immediately over. I'm standing in the car on Union Street, and a girl in Lululemon yoga pants walking her pocket pooch, gives me the stare. I know what she's thinking. But in all fairness this is better than the walk of shame because a. I'm not walking and b. "He" told me I didn't need to bring back the convertible until I had time, which to me means after I'm done parading around the city with SD this weekend.

8:59 am I pull into my boss, Mr. X's parking space in our office parking garage between the Black 911 Turbo and Mrs. X's Black Carrera 4s.

9:01 am to 2:24 pm shit happens.

2:25pm Mrs. X leaves the off

ice and 2 minutes later she me that she likes my new ride with a ;).

3:30pm I text SD and tell her I'm picking her up to run errands for work. She agrees to come help.

3:40pm I run up to the apartment to grab a snack and Trouble's Ex walks by. He asks for a ride up the street to Trouble's house. I tell him sure, but SD will have to sit on his lap. I run up, grab a snack, SD, and a small overnight bag this time. Grab some clothes and a swim suit for tomorrow I tell her, just in case.

3:46pm Trouble's Ex questions the ride. He knows it's not mine. I tell him I'm babysitting. He doesn't ask any more questions.

3:49 pm We head to Mr. X's boat to take photos.

.....BACK TRACK......

9:45pm THE NIGHT BEFORE.... Trouble is at my house. Her ex comes over to hang out with my roommate and intentionally ignores her. She asks for a ride home on our way out. SD and I put on her swimsuits and toss on cotton dresses and agree that Trouble's coming with.

9:55pm We drive pass the gas station where we told Trouble we had to stop before dropping her off. 2 Minutes later we're on the bridge. "We're going out", I tell her.

10:10pm We get to Stack's 10 million dollar mansion. (With his Father who he apparently hates. The normal dysfunctional Marin Family). It's sitting at the top of the hill out of sight from any neighbors. We walk into the kitchen off the pool and Stack, a photographer for a young women's clothing line, is already pouring the Don Julio shots. He tells me we are out of ice and that I'll need to drink mine and like a big girl this time. I head over to the freezer and pull out 2 cubes and toss them in my glass. He fills it to the brim. Trouble asks for the restroom and I tell her to use the one passed the stripper pole in the living room.

---BACK TRACK AGAIN---Meeting Stack: I've got a work event and I need to transform the event space into t a Studio 54 Theme. My friend, wh0 Trouble refers to as "Diddly Doo", tells me to call his buddy who can print me 5ft nudes to image boards. I show up and there's a beautiful fit 5'2 brunette standing in the kitchen. Stack gets the images and the brunette looks them over. "They turned out really well," she says to him. "That's because you have a nice ass", he tells her as he slaps it. Stack heads back upstairs to get another image he thinks I can use. "Are you sure you don't mind?" I ask her. Where are you putting them up", she asks? I tell her and she agrees. I take a couple shots of Don Julio with the two and they invite me into the hot tub. I politely decline and head out. I check out the brunette's back side before as I follow her out. She is very well endowed. As I set up the site later that weekend, the most risque of the 4 nudes is placed in the men's bathroom. I get praised for my work.

1:15am Trouble's finally less upset we kidnapped her, but she's ready to call it a night. I tell her to take my keys. SD has turned the pool cover into a slip and slide and urges me to compete. The water is freezing but I'm terrible with peer pressure and I love a good competition. I dominate.

2:20am or somewhat later. I'm drunk at this point. On a level of 1 to 10, I'm an 8.5. I'm not quite spinning when I lie down, but close. Mind you 10 out of 10 means I've made my way to the bathroom to puke. I head upstairs with Diddy Doo. We walk into Stack's room. His two pups, are sitting on his king bed staring at him. He's wearing a baggy bright red pair of women's panties, in size XXL. SD now has her hair in pigtails, knee high stockings and a corset. "Don't make it weird", he tells me for the 10th time this evening. I turn towards Diddy Doo as Stack pulls out his camera. Game on.

?? -4:30am X rated. X rated X rated. Did I mention the stripper pole in the living room and the box of women's heels all size 9 next to the fire place?

8:15am I go to Stack's room and climb between Stack and SD. "I need to get to work", I say. He offers me the White 1978 Porsche or the BMW. He tells me the clutch is funny on the Porsche and I stand on the balcony to take a peek at it. The top is down and its covered in dew. "I'll take the Bimmer", I tell him.

8:25am SD and I make toast with extra butter and head out.

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